Back to Work

I made it through my first week back to work!  I have been dreading going back since school started in September.  It's an adjustment for everyone-me, the boys, Dave, my 1st graders....but we did it and we all survived!  Luckily, next week is very short-only 2 days and then I get to spend the rest of the week and weekend with my family!  Being a teacher has some perks and vacation days is definitely one of them!!

4 Months!

My baby is 4 months old today!  I can't believe how fast time flies!  I swear just yesterday I was making plans for his birth (having a scheduled c-section made planning so much easier!).  But it has been 4 months and my baby is growing up way too fast!

We had Ethan's 4 month appointment last week.  He weighed in at 14lbs, 25.5in long (1lb more and 1in shorter than Brayden at 4 months).  Everyone keeps saying that Ethan is "solid".  That he is bigger than Brayden was and is going to be bigger than B in the future.  I just don't get that.  I am pretty sure that B was "solid" when he was a little baby too.  It wasn't until he started moving that he thinned out.  I mean he was never a chunky monkey, but he wasn't a waif either.  Ethan is also not a chunky monkey.....so I just don't understand where it's coming from.  I don't know...only time will tell!

Ethan at 4 months old.

Brayden at 4 months old

So at 4 months my boy can hold his head up and he's been rolling from stomach to back since a month old!  He laughs and coos and loves watching his big brother.  You can just see him looking at B, thinking "Please B, pay attention to me.  Play with me!".  I can not wait until they can play together!  

I look forward to watching my baby grow and learn over the next few months.  Its so fun to see them change....I just hope that it slows down just a little!

Happy 4 Months Ethan David!

Woe is me!

Today begins my last week of "maternity" leave and the thought of going back to work makes me nauseous.  I can't believe that it's been 10 weeks already!  Between my doctor excused month off in June, summer vacation and my unpaid leave, I haven't worked in 5 1/2 months.  That's a lonnnng time! 

I feel so many different emotions about my return to work. 

I feel nervous- I'm going to be the new kid at school, what if the kids like the substitute better?
I feel relief- I will finally have a paycheck again. 
I feel thankful- I was able to stay home without pay for this long.
I feel concern- daycare costs $350/week (how in the world are we going to afford that and Christmas and living in general??). 
I feel comfort- I know my boys will be spending their days with a great person and her babies.
I feel happy- I will have daily adult conversation again (well sorta). 
I feel stress- About getting both my class and my babies on a new schedule.
I feel excitement- I will get to meet a new group of 1st graders and hopefully help them learn.

I feel sadness- I have to leave my babies.

Ethan and I have grown very close since his birth in July.  I am almost certain that he is going to be a mama's boy.  He lights up when he sees me and he quiets easier when its me doing the rocking and the shushing.  He has the most beautiful eyes and dimples.  His smile and laugh are infectious.  I just love him so much.  I was actually worried that I wouldn't be able to love him as much as I love my Brayden, but what they say is true, it is possible for your heart to love the second as much as the first. 

And Brayden, my Brayden.  I have enjoyed so much being able to be home with him (even if it was only Mondays and Fridays).  We got to do fun classes together like Bee, Bop & Tots and circle time at the library.  We got to have lunch with daddy on Fridays and do arts and crafts together.  Don't get me wrong- he tested my patience on most days but it really was a special time for me.  He is turning into such a smart, little boy and I feel lucky that I could spend that time with him. 

Next Monday I officially become a working mom again.  That's what I want.  I want to work.  And its what I need.  I need to work, for both my financial needs (and wants) and my mental health.  I just wish I had a job that was flexible about when I showed up (getting up at 5:30 and getting two babies and myself ready is a little stressful). 

My goal is to enjoy my week and not wallow in my own self-pity.  I will instead be thankful that I get Thanksgiving break, Christmas break, Spring break and summers to spend with my babies.  I will be thankful that I was able to have this time with them in the first place.

Dave!

My relationship with Dave began during my freshman year of college.  I was kind of in a bad way....no friends, missing my boy-friend, a pathetic roommate.  I was just plain sad and had my transfer application into Cortland.  During that time my roommate (a girl I went to high school with-worst idea ever!) introduced me to Dave Matthews.  I was hooked.  I listened to the Crash CD, on repeat day in and day out for an entire semester!  I would sit in my room, smoking cigarette, after cigarette, while having a pity party with Dave.  I loved it!  He got me through my first semester at college.  I will always be grateful! 



My very favorite Dave CD!  Love it!

I didn't attend my first Dave concert until after I graduated from college (from Oneonta, never transferred to Cortland-thank God!).  My boy-friend at the time was nice enough to take me to a concert at Giants Stadium.  Our seats were in the furthest, highest section in the whole stadium.  It was awesome!  I had such a great time!  I vowed never to miss a Dave concert-ever! 

My second concert was in Buffalo.  I went with my sister and friends.  Another good concert, though he didn't play Crash and that bummed me out.  But still, it was Dave and I was happy. 

My third concert is a little fuzzy to me.  I know that I went with Tia and some friends.  I drove, I have a picture of us "tailgating".  But I thought that concert was at Montage Mountain.  I have no ticket stub to Montage, but to Hershey Park instead.  Hmmm....I guess maybe that's where we were.  Who knows!  Still...a good time!

Years and years passed.  I didn't go to any concerts.  But I was still in love with Dave.  Thank goodness for I-Tunes.  I was able to get all my favorite songs complied into a play list that I could listen to where ever, whenever I wanted. 

Then last summer I was able to go to my fourth concert.  My mom came to me and said "Shannon, Dave Matthews is going to be at Woodstock.  You should go.  I'll pay. "  SOLD!  I was online getting my tickets immediately.  This time I went with my husband and Tia and I was able to see some friends of mine from college, Allison and Courtney.  I had a lot of fun!  Too much fun actually.  It was my first time away from my newly borne son, and my first time having a "couple" beers.  Needless to say I don't remember as much of the concert as I would have liked to.  Oops.  Oh well!  It was still a great day, a great concert!

My ticket stubs...yes I do.  I save them all.

This year I wasn't able to see Dave because I had just given birth to my second baby boy right in the middle of the summer tour.  I was bummed and even more bummed when I heard that he wasn't going to be touring next summer.  I thought I may never see Dave again.  But then I read a post on Facebook (Thanks Courtney!) that there would be a fall tour. Yay!  I could see Dave again!  I waited patiently for ticket sales to open and got my tickets as soon as I could!

My ticket for Fridays show!!!  I'm so excited!

 We are in the furthest, highest section but it doesn't matter!  On Friday, November 5th I will be enjoying my fifth Dave Matthews show!  I can't wait!!

Trick or Treat!

Yesterday was Halloween and normally I would have been overjoyed, but this year there was a big, black cloud hanging over the holiday.  And that big, black cloud was NO candy for Shannon.  So sad.  Really.  It almost killed me not being able to consume piece, after piece of delicious candy.  I did, finally, let myself have one candy bar right before bed.  An Almond Joy.  Not my favorite, but I could justify eating it by pointing out that there was a source of protein present, the almond, and the coconut must be kinda good for you....right?! 

My one and only piece of Halloween candy.

Anyway, I made it through the day and night....but we have a huge bowl of candy left in the house.  I anticipated trick or treaters early, but there weren't any and then we were gone during the prime trick or treating time....so we have all the candy left.  I've shown great restraint so far but I'm not sure how long it will last.  The candy must go!!

How am I supposed to not eat this?

Brayden and Ethan had a very busy night of "trick or treating".  We don't actually go door to door.  Instead, we dress the kiddos, get in the car and drive from one side of town to the other, visiting with family.  It's very time consuming and very tiring.  Boys in the car seats, boys out of the car seats.  Costumes on, costumes off.  I think we've decided that next year everyone will have to come to us.  Its just too much!  But it's fun and I get to take pictures which is what Halloween is really for! 

My lil' monkey, Brayden

Is he not the cutest pea pod you've ever seen?!

Brayden & Ethan with Zachary, Gracie & Lexie.  Little Sawyer was still napping.

Visiting GG.

Aunt-T & Auntie Gin (Megan)

Hi Gi (Yogi)!

Brayden loves his Nana!

Uncle TC & Chelsea

Ethan with Uncle Alvin

My boys

I love them soooo much!

Overall it was a nice Halloween!  Hopefully next year I will be able to eat some candy! 

Happy Halloween!